


pink [hiatus]

by exoncts



Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Anyways, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Private School, Roommates, Slow Burn, Teen Angst, jeno suffers a lot poor baby, noren is kinda cute tho i'm sad i had to kill it, norenmin, protect jaemin he's a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-08-26 00:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16671523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exoncts/pseuds/exoncts
Summary: three things na jaemin shouldn't do:- leave his hometown- go to a catholic boarding school- fall in love with lee jeno(in which class president jeno's life is turned upside down by the arrival of a pink haired boy from seoul)





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! i'd like to warn everyone reading this story that it will be on hiatus until the end of june. i have been very busy with school and i also have exams coming up so it really doesn't leave me any time to write. please understand and wait a bit more if you want an update, i'm sorry! i'll try my best to write better and better chapters as soon as school ends. love you and take care i'll be back in the end of june, july at the latest! <3

"Mr. Lee, I will need to go to the principal's office right now."

These words were never a good premonition for any student but Jeno wasn't _any_ student. He was the top student at his school and most likely at his district too, aswell as class president, so he didn't even flinch when he heard his Geometry teacher saying them at the beginning of the class. He got up quickly and bowed before leaving the classroom, walking comfortably through the school's hallways like they were from his own home. He greeted the passing students warmly, smiling and bowing and calling each one of them by their names, smashing fists with the boys passing and sending one of his eye smiles to the girls, making them hide their flushed faces behind their hands as they passed by him, giggling. He was probably the most popular student in his school, not only for his outstanding grades and kind attitute, but also because of his obvious good looks. Jeno always kept his black hair combed perfectly and his bright eyes and flawless skin made him look like a manga character. It was easy to like him, he was polite and extroverted, and always had a smile reserved for everyone that passed by. He was also in senior year, so he knew everyone and was respected and loved, especially by the girls who all most likely were crushing on him. 

Suddenly a group of girls passed by, and as he was greeting them one of them approached him confidently. She probably was a new student since Jeno didn't knew her name, and a typical Korean beauty, with long silky black hair, big doll eyes, pale skin and small lips tinted red. She was indeed beautiful, just not Jeno's type so when she bowed in front of him and gave him a small letter with a pink heart on it he just gave her his most genuine smile and said thank you, putting it in his pocket after the girl ran away giggling with her friends. He had his locker full of these letters, but he didn't dare to open any of them because he didn't want to read the girls' love confessions since he wasn't interested in any of them. It wasn't the girls' fault though, he had plenty to choose from smart, beautiful, funny, quirky so he had no right to be picky.

But the problem was:

Jeno was gay. 

And when you go to a boarding catholic school, being gay wasn't exactly accepted. First, they weren't allowed to date, and they rarely saw the girls either, since the only building they shared was the school one, and they only used it for classes. Even the refectories, just like the dormitories, were in completely separate buildings. So if it wasn't easy for straight couples to date, for queer ones it was pretty much impossible. There weren't many lgbt+ students either, at least outed, and the only case Jeno had heard of was two gay senior girls two years ago that had gotten kicked out for being caught making out in the janitor's cubicle. So no, Jeno couldn't simply come out and break dozens of girl's hearts, get kicked out, and most likely ruin his reputation forever and with it any chances of getting in a decent college. His only hope was he could graduate and leave to college in a foreign country where he could be himself freely.

He was immersed in this thoughts when he arrived the principal's office, and as he opened the door he bowed and greeted the principal, sitting down in the chair in front of him as a gesture of Father Kim told him so. Since they were in a catholic school the principal was obviously a priest, and he wasn't one of the nice smiley chubby ones at all. Father Kim had a severe expression, and his elbows were resting on his table, his hands forming a triangle and his gaze piercing above it, making him even more intimidating. Jeno stared at his hands, an uneasy feeling taking over him. He always felt uncomfortable in the presence of Father Kim, he looked like he could see through people's souls, knew all of their darkest secrets and was judging them for every single one.

"Mr. Lee, you must be wondering why I called you here.", he inquired, leaning back on his chair and resting his hands on his lap. He gaze was focused on him and Jeno kept his head down, trying his best to avoid eye contact.

"Yes, Father.", he replied simply, feeling sweat forming in his palms. _He knows, he knows, he found your secret and you're going to get kicked out and never get into a good college and your life will be ruined,_ a voice repeated in his head and Jeno clenched his fists tightly, breathing regularly to keep his heart rate normal. _He doesn't. He has no way to know. It's okay. You're okay,_ he repeated to himself.

"See, a new student arrived today, and since you are our model student I suggested you would be the one introducing him to the school. You don't mind, do you?"

Jeno felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Of course not, sir.", he said, trying to smile to see if Father Kim would reciprocate, which of course didn't happen, "I would be glad to. What's her name?"

Father Kim furrowed his eyebrows.

" _Him._ I said 'him', mister Lee, I fear you weren't listening."

"Yes, him, sorry, Father.", replied Jeno quickly. He was so relived Father Kim hadn't found out about his secret he immediately supposed the new student was a girl. Good thing it was a boy then, one less love letter to worry about.

Father Kim took the importance of his sentence with a gesture of his hand.

"Anyway, his name is Na Jaemin and he is your age, so he will join the same class as you. He is from Seoul, but his parents moved him to our school since they wanted him to be away from the big city. I guess they want their son to be in a more controlled environment, because he is what his mother called a "free soul". I hope our school will do good to him and he will become a decent and more mature young man, just like I promised his parents he would. You're willing to help me with this, aren't you? I knew you would.", he added, not giving Jeno a chance to reply, "I expect no less from our best student, which I consider the perfect example of the values we teach at his institution. Am I wrong?"

 _Oh, boy, you don't know how wrong you are,_ thought Jeno, but simply replied,

"Not at all, Father. I hope to always keep up with your expectations."

Father Kim nodded severely while he looked at the watch in the wall, right under a crucifix.

"He should be here by now. It's been twenty minutes since the hour combined. This is already a negative point for Mr. Na", he said, while clicking his tongue deprecatingly.

Jeno couldn't help but feel bad for the new student, on his first day of school and already getting on the bad side of Priest Kim. This year wasn't going to be easy for him. He was starting to feel pity for himself too, to have to sit in the same room as the principal in an awkward silence when suddenly the door busted open and a suitcase appeared, followed by a skinny boy with big brown eyes. His most noticeable feature wasn't any of this though, but his bright pink colored hair who immediately earned Father Kim's disapproval, judging by the look in his face. 

"Sorry I'm late!," the boy announced cheerfully, sending Father Kim a smile that was so bright that made Jeno's look forced. He then smiled at Jeno and bowed, his pink hair looking like a cotton candy cloud on the top of his head. Jeno felt his heart stopping when the boy made eye contact with him. He was super handsome, that was for sure, with very soft angel-like features, and he was wearing the school uniform (which Jeno thought was the most hideous thing in the world) and made it look like a high fashion piece. Even the grey pants and dark blue necktie which were the more horrible and bland clothes in existence looked bright and beautiful in opposition with his pink hair. 

"I'm Jaemin it's very nice to meet you!", he said to Jeno, completely ignoring Father Kim.

Jeno didn't even respond, he was too dumbstruck by the boy's ethereal beauty that looked like it belonged everywhere except in that boring, bland school. 

Father Kim coughed loudly and broke the moment between Jeno and Jaemin, making the pink haired boy pay attention to him.

"Mr. Na, can you sit down, please? And don't be so loud. If everyone spoke like that this school would be a jungle.", Father Kim hissed, and Jaemin's bright smile disappeared as he sat down, this immediately making Jeno want to jump and choke Father Kim to death just for making the other boy sad. _What is wrong with you? Stop,_ he ordered himself as he straightened his back up against his chair and put his perfect-model-student expression back on.

"This is Mr. Lee Jeno.", Father Kim introduced as he nodded in the black haired boy's direction, "He is our school's model student and he will guide you and explain to you how our school works. Your parents specifically asked me to be very strict and not go easy on you, and so I shall treat you as I treat all my students. You might not be used to this kind of system but in this school education is very important and we do not focus on preparing our students only academically, but also personally into shaping them into the adults they will become. You might find this discipline hard at first, but I hope you rely on Mr. Lee and you other classmates to lead you and teach you the way you should behave. You've already learned one rule: don't be loud and inopportune. Staying quiet and keeping your opinions to yourself is a very important part of your formation. Mr. Lee  shall teach you the other rules.", he sentenced, as he crossed his legs, staring at Jaemin. The other boy didn't even flinch and kept holding eye contact with Father Kim, which Jeno found extremely stupid and daring at the same time. "Now go. Mr. Lee, you have permission to skip the first class to help Mr.Na settle down, but you the two of you shall be in the second class, or the consequences will he harsh, as expected."

"We will, Father Kim.", Jeno said, while getting up and bowing. Jaemin followed his actions, seeming unsure of what to do.

"I hope you two become good  _friends_.", Father Kim declared as they left, and Jeno wasn't sure if it was his mind playing tricks or the principal really had given a more intense pronunciation to the word 'friends'.


	2. Chapter 2

The school hallways were now empty since the first classes had already started, so Jeno and Jaemin were completely alone, the noise of the wheels on Jaemin's suitcase filling up the awkward silence between them. Jeno put this hands in his pockets and avoided eye contact with the pink haired boy, but feeling his stare on him while he led them to the dormitories. 

"Jeno?", the boy's heart fluttered by hearing Jaemin pronouncing his name, "Random thought but were are you taking me?"

"To the dormitories. They're this way.", Jeno replied, and immediately slapped himself mentally for how rude he sounded. He imagined how Jaemin must felt, going to a new school on the last year where everyone already knows eachother, specially a school as strict and scary as this one. "Sorry for sounding harsh", he added, chuckling to lighten up the mood. "It's just it's the first time I do this. There aren't many new students here."

Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"I can guess why, with that asshole of a principal."

Jeno's breath almost stopped when he heard these words and he pulled the boy to the side next to some lockers to hide them from who passed by.

" _Never_ say that out loud inside the school. I swear, people have gotten in detention for less. Staff is always around, and they will snitch on Father Kim. Be careful.", he whispered, and only then he realized how close they were in the small space that separated the lockers and walked away, looking away from Jaemin so he wouldn't see the blush in his cheeks. 

Jaemin sprinted to follow him.

"Woah, sorry I will be more careful. You really take the 'keep your opinions to yourself' philosophy severely here. It's cute how you are worrying about me and you barely know me though", he added, and Jeno didn't need to look to know he was smirking. 

"It's my job as class president to look after the other students.", he replied, trying to look as professional as he could.

They finally had arrived the dormitory building and Jeno leaned down to help Jaemin bring his suitcase upstairs. The first floor was Jeno's room which he used to have all for himself as he was class president, but Father Kim had informed him Jaemin would be staying with him since there weren't any other rooms available. When he opened the door there was another bed on the side opposite to his, only separated by the nightstand and the window behind it. 

"This is your room, which we will be sharing.", Jeno announced, "The bed on the left is mine and you can use all the empty drawers. The bathroom is shared with every other guy in the building and there are only ten showers so I advise you to go early."

"Ugh love that lack of privacy.", Jaemin muttered while sitting on the bed and Jeno rolled his eyes.

"I know it can be weird at first, but you'll get used to it. The meals are served in the refectory and if you want snacks there are always vending machines around. If you need help with anything just ask me.", he recited in his best model student voice. 

"Thank you", said Jaemin, smiling, and Jeno felt his heart fluttering again."Do you huh mind if I stick with you for this first week..", the pink haired boy asked, playing with his hands on his lap and Jeno found that extremely adorable "It's just since I don't have any friends here.. I will try not to be annoying."

Jeno smiled at him as he sat on the bed next to him, feeling now more comfortable talking to the other boy. 

"It's totaly okay! I know everyone in this school so if you stick with me you'll see you'll have plenty of friends in no time. But I want us to be friends too, it would be a bummer to share a room with someone you don't like", he added, leaning back on the wall. "We still have some time until the second class, we can talk a bit. So what brought you were?"

Jaemin leaned next to him, and their shoulders were touching and Jeno tried to ignore this fact as the boy started explaining.

"Well, it all started because I wanted to be a dancer. Since I was little I always liked to dance but my parents never liked the fact that I was doing it because they thought it was a 'girly' thing", the boy said rolling his eyes.

"I want to see you dancing one day.", Jeno blurted out before he could stop himself.

Jaemin looked at him with the biggest smile on his face and Jeno couldn't help but notice how much his eyes sparkled when he talked about dancing.

"You have to earn it.", he replied, "Dancing is a very private and intimate thing for me, not everyone gets to see it"

Jeno was too mesmerized to reply so he just nodded and Jaemin continued his speech.

"As the principal probably told you, I used to live in Seoul, people are a lot more open minded there and a lot of boys practice dancing too so I used to sneak to practice at this studio after school and I always told my parents I was studying at my friend's house. But one day I got carried away while practicing and stayed in the studio until way past time.", his expression was more dark now, "My parents called my friend's parents and realized I wasn't there and then found the flyer of my dance studio in my room and came to pick me up. I will never forget the scene my dad made. He embarrassed me so much. And then I got sent here, since they wanted a way to have me under control. But joke's on them, I can't be controlled.", Jaemin added with a smile."Sorry for the rant. I got carried away by my story."

Jeno smiled back, fighting the urge to pull Jaemin into a hug.

"It's okay."

"What about you?", said Jaemin looking at him, "how did you get in here?"

Jeno's words flowed easily as he explained how he won a scholarship to study there for being the best student in his latest school, and suddenly he was telling him about his older sister, which was studying in France, and how he had three cats but was allergic and how he was pretty good at singing but all they made him sing were stupid church songs and Jaemin was listening and smiling and adding facts about himself and Jeno felt so nice and comfortable with Jaemin it was almost like they knew eachother for years.

They were late for class.

 

 

 

 

The curfew was at 10pm and when Jaemin returned to their room after brushing his teeth Jeno was already laying in his bed reading a book. He got inside his bed to turn to the side so he was facing Jeno.

"Today was fun.", he said, and he couldn't help but notice how cute Jeno looked with his reading glasses when he put the book down to face him. 

"Was it?"

"Yes, I talked a lot to that boy that seats next to me I think his name is Donghyuck? He's really nice."

"I'm glad you're enjoying the school. But the curfew's at 10pm.", Jeno replied while placing his book on the nightstand. "Goodnight.", he said as he turned off the lamp.

Jaemin rolled his eyes as he turned around to face the wall. Jeno was cute but he was no fun. What was wrong with a little late night chatting? He seemed so happy to talk to him just a few hours ago. Jaemin never had felt so comfortable talking to someone. He sure had to get to know this boy better, he thought before falling asleep.

 

The digital watch on Jeno's wrist had a faint green glow in the darkness of the room and when the watch face showed 1am he slid off his bed, careful to make minimal noise so he wouldn't wake Jaemin up. The window slid easily, and Jeno jumped out of it with the flexibility of someone who had done it multiple times. He landed silently on the grass underneath and immediately saw another boy waiting for him next to the fountain in the back of the dormitories. He ran to join the boy, feeling his heart beating faster just by the sight of him. His secret.

One thing that Jaemin had learnt after living with his parents for years was to sneak out silently. So it was easy for him to identify when someone was sneaking out. He heard Jeno sliding off his bed, opening the window and jumping but only opened his eyes when he stopped hearing the black haired boy's soft footsteps on the grass that covered the garden behind the dormitories.

Jaemin got up and walked to the window, waiting a little until his eyes adjusted to the darkness and slowly covering his mouth with his hand as he saw Lee Jeno, class president and model student, running to the arms of a small blond haired boy and kissing him passionately illuminated by the light of the moon.

Turns out Jeno might be more interesting than he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short but whatever enjoy some noren


	3. Chapter 3

Jaemin barely saw Jeno the rest of the week since they had different classes. He was a very extroverted and cheerful person so it hadn't been hard for him to make friends at all. However, something kept bothering him, and he was getting more and more quiet as the days went by, and he saw Jeno leave his room through the window every single night at exactly 1:00 am. It was like a game now, every night Jaemin would wake up to the sound of Jeno leaving his bed and meeting his blond boyfriend under the light of the moon. He wasn't jealous, not at all, he barely knew Jeno and he wasn't his type, but the black haired boy was his friend and he was worried he would get caught. What if he got expelled? Jeno was the best student in school and had a bright future ahead, he couldn't bear to see his friend get his life ruined like that. 

Jaemin had been quiet for a while now, and Donghyuck hitted his friend's shoulder playfully. They were sitting in one of the tables at the lounge area in the school during the break, surrounded by loud students chatting and eating. 

"Yah! Jaemin! Did you fall asleep? I can't believe you are missing an opportunity to talk shit about Ms. Jung with us. I thought everyone hated her.", the other boy said, looking at Jaemin with a smile on his face. Jaemin shook his head and forced himself to smile back.

"No, I was just thinking about the amount of homework we have. Teachers at this school are insane."

Donghyuck's best friend, a very nice student from Canada called Mark, rolled his eyes.

"You're right. Especially Ms. Jung.", he added. 

They launched themselves again into a discussion of all the defects of Ms. Jung and were joined by Chenle and Jisung two students from grade 11 who happened to overhear the conversation from their table and had tea on the poor teacher too. Jaemin just nodded at the right times and added some comments, his mind not leaving one specific black haired boy.

Later that night, when Jaemin got in bed Jeno was nowhere to be seen, which was weird considering usually the other boy would be already in bed when he arrived. Jaemin laid in bed and turned off the light, since it was already 10 pm and he would probably get scolded if he didn't, but finding it hard to fall asleep with the absence of the other male. He and Jeno would always have a little chat before falling asleep and he was worried something had happened to him. He turned around in bed multiple times, finding it hard to stay in a comfortable position. His head was filled with thoughts, and he was feeling very anxious. "What if someone found about Jeno and turned him in? What if he was expelled and didn't tell him anything out of embarrassment?". He was about to get up and look for the other boy when he heard the door opening slowly and the room was illuminated by the light on the hallway, forcing Jaemin to cover his face with his hand. 

"Whoops, sorry Jaemin", Jeno said and Jaemin felt like he could breathe again."I know it's past our bedtime but I was studying at the library and lost track of time.", he added sliding into his bed.

"It's okay. I was getting worried.", Jaemin blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Ah.. thank you, but don't! Everything is okay.", Jeno smiled reassuringly before turning his back on him.

"Yeah. Goodnight, Jeno."

"Goodnight, Jaemin."

 _This is getting out of hand. I can't let these little things scare me life this. I need to do something. At least find out where he goes to so I can cover up for him if something happens_ , he thought. So, before he fell asleep he made a decision:

He was going to follow Jeno.

 

Jeno waited for 1:00 am as usual and got out of bed, his heart already beating faster at the thought of meeting Renjun. He opened the window and slid through it easily, wondering how much of a heavy sleeper Jaemin must be he didn't even notice him sneaking out every night. Renjun was already waiting next to the abandoned fountain, with his back turned on him, looking at the bright full moon that occupied the sky and Jeno couldn't help but stop to admire the other boy's perfect silhouette before back hugging him, placing his chin on Renjun's shoulder.

"Oh, hi Jeno.", Renjun said with his calm voice that made Jeno's heart flutter, smiling, his eyes still focused on the moon.

"Hi, love. I missed you.", Jeno murmured, hugging him tighter. 

Renjun shook his head, still smiling, and turned around in Jeno's arms so he was facing him and he looked absolutely beautiful, with his blond hair and bright eyes making him look like a prince from a fairy tale. The blond boy wrapped his arms around Jeno's neck and he couldn't help but notice how small he felt in his arms.

"You saw me yesterday.", Renjun said.

"And? These hours away from you were the most painful thing.", Jeno replied, brushing a few yellow strands away from Renjun's eyes.

Renjun smiled and lowered his head and Jeno noticed a certain sadness in his eyes. He picked the other boy's chin up and gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking his hand. 

"Let's go somewhere else. We're way too exposed here."

He took Renjun's hand and led him to their usual place, a rock cavern inside the forest in the back of the school, which only the two of them knew about. Renjun was not as talkative as usual and he was looking at his feet, his bangs covering his eyes again, and Jeno made an effort to stop himself from brushing them away. He held Renjun's hand tighter as they got inside the forest. It was dark and the only light came from Jeno's watch, but they didn't dare to bring a lantern in case someone saw it from the school. However, they didn't need one since they had done this thousands of times, during the day when they were in holidays and at night during school season, so they could almost go there with their eyes closed. 

It was dark inside the cavern, and Jeno picked up a rock which was covering a hole where a lantern, some blankets and snacks were kept. He turned on the lantern and took a blanket, sitting next to Renjun and feeling the smaller boy leaning his head on his shoulder. 

"Jeno?", Renjun asked inquired after they spent some minutes in silence.

"Hm?"

"Do you believe in aliens?"

Jeno sat up, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Well, according to science-"

Renjun covered his mouth with his hand before he could finish the sentence.

"No, not according to science. According to you."

"I don't.", Jeno replied after thinking for a while, "Why would there be aliens? If there someone else really was out there in the universe it sure would already have showed itself."

Renjun rolled his eyes.

"What if it did, but we never noticed? What if there is another planet where life is possible too?"

Jeno shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't think that's possible."

Renjun sighed and looked away, to the bit of starry sky that they could see from the inside of the cavern.

"What is all this about? All this conversation about aliens.", Jeno asked gently.

Renjun bent his knees and laid his head on them, still looking to the sky.

"Nothing."

"Hey", whispered Jeno, stroking the other boy's thin hair strands."You know you can tell me everything, right?"

"It's just- I was wondering if maybe in another universe we could be together.", Renjun whispered in a strangled voice, tears filling his eyes when he turned to face Jeno.

"Baby..", Jeno consoled, pulling him into a hug, "I-"

"I'm sorry Jeno. It's just- I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of having to sneak out of my house every night to meet you and always worry my parents will find out and never let me see you again. I love you. I loved you since we were five and barely knew what love is, or that it is considered wrong to love a boy. I hate this fucking school you go to and I know it's your dream to go to a good university and this school is your only chance to make it real but I HATE it. Life would be so much easier if you weren't in there.", the boy broke into heavy crying in Jeno's arms and all he could do was pet his head.

"Renjun. I understand how you feel. But we made it work all this time. And there's only one year left and then I'm free. We're free. We'll leave the country and go somewhere where we can be ourselves."

Renjun raised his head and caught Jeno's lips between his, kissing him softly and then more vociferously, like it was their last kiss.

"I love you", Renjun whispered when they pulled away.

"I love you too.", Jeno whispered back. 

They spent another hour cuddling under the blanket talking about school and what they had done during the day. Renjun was studying in the best art school in Seoul, since his dream was to be a painter. He was Chinese, but his parents had moved from China when he was very young, and he and Jeno had known each other ever since their parents became friends. Renjun also lived next to Jeno's school because it was situated in the countryside next to Seoul and it was cheaper since Renjun's parents didn't have much money, and it was good for them since his house was literally a ten minute walk away from the school. 

They had been dating for almost two years, ever since Jeno had spent a whole summer at Renjun's house and he realised that he wasn't the only one that felt attracted to boys. It had been his secret since he was 14, but when Renjun went for it and kissed him under the cherry blossom tree everything had changed between them. They were dating since then, seeing each other every chance they got which weren't many and usually rushed. But it worked for them. "It worked for two years so why wouldn't it now?", Jeno thought as he caressed Renjun's head, who had fallen asleep in his lap. His watch showed 3am and he gently shook the other boy's shoulder to wake him up.

"Baby. I have to go now.", he whispered. 

Renjun rubbed his eyes as he lifted his head and his hair was messy and he looked so cute Jeno couldn't help but thinking he wanted to wake up next to him like this everyday. 

"Right. Let's go.", he muttered in a sleepy voice and got up, helping Jeno folding the blanket. As they were leaving the cavern Renjun was turning to go to this house which was the opposite side Jeno grabbed the smaller boy's arm and pulled him in into a hug, kissing the top of his head.

"You know I love you right?", he said when they pulled apart.

"I love you more.", Renjun said before stealing a kiss from Jeno's lips. The other boy then left and Jeno stayed in his place until his blond head was out of sight. He turned around to head back to school and he was lost in his thoughts when he heard a noise coming from a tree near him. His heart immediately started beating faster, thinking it might be some wild animal or even worse, someone from school who had seen him meeting Renjun. The noise sounded like someone kicking the floor and Jeno stood there, still frozen by the shock until he heard a muffled scream and a pink haired boy felt on his back from behind the tree.

"J-Jaemin?", Jeno asked his expression going from fear to anger.

Jaemin got up and smiled innocently, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, that was the biggest spider I have ever seen."

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jaemin shook the leaves that were stuck in his head off his hair as he stared into the pissed off Jeno that was in front of him. He mentally cursed for letting himself be caught. Now Jeno was never going to trust him again and he most likely ruined the friendship they had. 

"Did you  _follow_ me?", Jeno asked, curling his hands into fists, his voice shaking with anger like Jaemin had never seen.

Jaemin stared at his feet so he wouldn't have to face the black haired boy. 

"I'm so sorry, Jeno, I swear I was trying to help you. I just wanted to know where you went every night so I could cover up for you if something happen-", Jaemin didn't manage to finish his sentence, all of the sudden he was trapped against the tree behind him and Jeno was staying right in front of him, his hand grasping the neckline of Jaemin's shirt, pushing him against the rough surface of the tree. Jaemin had no idea the other boy had this much strength, he was on the tip of his toes, and Jeno's eyes were black with anger. Jeno's breath tickled his lips when he whispered harshly:

" _What did you see?"_

"What?", Jaemin asked, unable to understand the boy's words between his clenched teeth.

"I asked what did you  _see?"_ , Jeno replied, slamming Jaemin against the tree to emphasize his words which earned a groan from the other boy.

"Nothing. I didn't see anything. I just saw you and the other boy going inside that cavern and then I stayed here because I didn't want to invade your privacy. I'm so sorry, Jeno. I swear I was doing it because I care about you and I didn't want anything to happen to you.", Jaemin replied, his eyes shut because of the pain that he was starting to feel in his neck. "Can you please let me down now?"

Jeno's expression went from anger to a numb one and he released him suddenly and Jaemin fell to the floor, holding his neck in the place where Jeno had been grabbing his shirt. 

"Listen", Jaemin said, approaching the older boy and grabbing his wrist, "I know you and him have some kind of relationship. I saw you kissing him and hugging him a lot of times when you left at night. And that's okay. I'm the least homophobic person ever and you look super cute together. I really want it to work out between you guys and that's the reason why I followed you. You don't need to worry because I won't turn you in or anything like that. I was just looking out for you. I won't do it again."

Jeno shook his head no, staring at the floor, his black bangs covering his eyes. 

"I appreciate your concern, but I would rather look out for myself. I barely even know you, how do you expect me to trust you something that is so important to me as this? Do you even _realise_ you can ruin my life within seconds? I'm sorry you had to see what you saw. I will be more careful next time.", he grabbed Jaemin's arm and detached his hand from his wrist, turning his back on him and walking out of the forest.

"Jeno. Wait. Please let me explain.", Jaemin cried out, feeling tears forming in his eyes. "I would never do that. I-I am ", Jaemin stopped himself before he said it. He had never told anyone he was gay before. Wouldn't that make Jeno more understanding? He closed his eyes to stop the tears from running down and prepared himself to say the words.

"You should follow me if you don't want to get lost. And please don't say anything. You and I should have stuck to being just roommates rather than friends from the very beginning."

Jaemin wiped his eyes with his sleeve and followed the other boy silently, his heart aching with the words he hadn't said.

 

Several weeks had pass and before Jaemin knew it was mid december and they were taking their final exams before winter break. His and Jeno's relationship had gotten strictly school-related. Jaemin had other friends though, but Jeno was still his first and it felt weird sleeping in the same bedroom while not being friendly around eachother. However, Jeno barely spent time in their room because exams were taking his whole time and he spent every hour he wasn't in class studying in the library, only returning to their bedroom to sleep right in time for the curfew, not leaving Jaemin any chance to have a chat with him. His visits to his boyfriend had also decreased, but Jaemin wasn't sure if it was because of Jeno's tight schedule or something had happened between them. What he knew was Jeno used to leave to see the blond haired boy every night, and now he only left one day a week or even let weeks pass by without meeting him. 

Jaemin was worried about him. The boy who had been bubbly and healthy now looked tired and had dark circles under his eyes constantly. Jaemin was worried he might have been overworking himself, and the stress from the exams had made him loose a ton of weight. Even his smile when he greeted the other students had lost his glow. He wanted to do something to help him, but he didn't dare to approach Jeno after their fight. So he made the decision to wait until finals ended and see if the other boy got any better, and if he didn't he would try to talk to him. 

 

Jeno took a deep breath after finishing his last exam, the sweet feeling of release filling him up. He finally could rest and enjoy his winter break. His parents were going to Europe to have a vacation so he would stay at the school, and would be able to meet Renjun everyday. He really missed his boyfriend, he hadn't seen him in a while since the blond boy went to China to see some relatives. He was supposed to come home today, and they had scheduled to meet that night. Jeno's heart fluttered just by thinking of seeing the older boy again. He had been so exhausted lately he was really craving some cuddles.

He quickly revised his test before handing it to the teacher and leaving the classroom with a big smile on his face. He went to the dormitory to read a bit until dinner time and was surprised to see Jaemin laying in bed taking a nap. Jeno had to admit he felt a bit guilty for the way he treated the other boy, it seemed right when it happened, but now that he had more time to think about it he thought he had been too harsh. Jaemin shouldn't have done what he did, but still he hadn't turned him in or made fun of him even once. He wanted to apologize, but his pride wasn't letting him and to be honest Jaemin didn't seem that interested in making up for their friendship either.

However, Jeno couldn't help but notice how peaceful and beautiful Jaemin looked while he was asleep, with his lips half open and his pink fringe covering his eyes. The smaller boy muttered something in his sleep and turned to the other side and Jeno blushed and looked away, taking his book and deciding to read it in the library instead. What was he even thinking? He was seeing Renjun that night, that's all that mattered, he thought to himself. He was reaching for the dorm door when a piece of paper fell from his book and Jeno picked it up, wondering who had put it there. It was a small letter, and it had "Jeno" written on the front in a caligraphy which he immediately recognized as Renjun's. He smiled and his heart started beating faster, thinking about how he had brought his book to show his boyfriend the last time he met Renjun before he left to China. The blond boy must have found a way to slide the letter between the pages of the book and he hadn't even noticed, since he hadn't had any time to read because of exam season. 

He sat down on his bed and opened the letter with his hands trembling slightly, his smile disappearing as he read the words in it.

_My dear Jeno,_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for making you fall in love with me, and I'm sorry for spending all these amazing moments with you, and I'm sorry for loving you with all my heart. But more than that, I am sorry for leaving you._

_You always looked so happy and loving these last times we were together, I never had the guts to tell you, but the truth it my parents found out we were dating. They found some letters you wrote me, and then they found I was sneaking out every night to see you. That's why I haven't been able to meet you as regularly recently, and why I am "in vacation" in China. The thing is, it is not a vacation. My parents were so angry about our relationship they forbid me from leaving the house, and made me quit art school. I begged them not to talk to your parents, and they said the only way they wouldn't do it was if I agreed to go back to China with them, and never talk to you again. By the time you read this letter I'm probably already in China and believe me, I have been crying every night. Not just our relationship was destroyed, my dreams were too and now I can't even have friends since my parents think I'll "corrupt" every boy that I hang out with. There aren't enough words to tell you how sorry I am for keeping this to myself, but I wouldn't let you know about this during exam season and probably have you fail each one of your exams. As always, you have to keep your reputation, don't you?_

_I love you, and as much as I want to say I hope to see you again one day, I know I never will. I hope you find someone that makes you happy and smile as much as you smiled when you were with me._

_Please take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up like I know you will. None of this is your fault. I'm trying to believe we just weren't meant to be._ _Maybe in another universe._

_Love,_

_Renjun._

The letter fell from Jeno's hands to the floor, and tear stains marked it as Jeno leaned and placed his elbows on his shoulders, covering his eyes with his hands, tears sliding between his fingers. 

 

Jaemin woke up at dinner time, and he was starving because he hadn't eaten since lunch. Jeno's bed was empty, but the boy must have been sitting on it a few moments ago, since the sheets were slightly marked. He was probably having dinner with the rest of the school. Jaemin rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms lazily, checking his reflection on the small mirror on his nightstand before getting up and joining his friends for dinner.

When he got back after he was expecting to see Jeno in bed already, since it was pretty late because he had gotten distracted while chatting with Donghyuck. He hadn't seen Jeno at the refectory either, and he was starting to get worried about what might have happened to him. Only then he noticed a piece of paper laying under Jeno's bed. It was a small letter, and the ink was running and smudged in some places because of what looked like tear stains. Jaemin read the later, covering his mouth with his hand as he realized what happened. He couldn't even imagine how Jeno must felt. He had to find out where he was so he could help him and offer him support, especially since he was the only person in the school to know he was dating. But the question is, where was he? It was impossible to have any privacy at school. "If I was Jeno, where would I go?", he thought.

And then he knew.

 

Jaemin didn't even know how he got to the cavern in the middle of the night, only relying on a flashlight and his memory, but surprisingly he did. He immediately heard someone's muffled sobbing and saw Jeno laying with in head against the harsh surface of the cavern, tears running down his cheeks and glistening in the pale moonlight.

"R-Renjun?", the black haired boy cried out when he saw the outline of a young male's body outside the cavern. 

Jaemin just shook his head no sadly, and joined Jeno, pulling him into a hug, not caring about their fight, or the fact that Jeno probably didn't want him there, or that they didn't have any kind of skinship since they met. Jeno needed a hug, no matter from whom. The other boy was surprised for a moment, but then hugged Jaemin against him tightly, his head in the other boy's neck, his tears starting to stain his shirt.

The two boys stood there hugging for what it seemed like hours, just gently holding eachother until Jeno's tears stopped and his breath was steady again.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back enjoy this little chapter we nomin nation have been fed WELL lately so here's a present for y'all love you stay healthy

When Jaemin and Jeno finally pulled apart it was 4am acording to Jeno's watch. Jeno's eyes were now dry, and he looked at Jaemin with the tiniest smile.

 

"Thank you for being here for me.", he muttered. "T-there's something I've been wanting to tell you..", he added, playing with his hands in his lap. He looked at Jaemins shyly, who nodded reassuringly, "The thing is, I am very sorry for the way I treated you. It was very unfair and rude of me but please understand I only had that kind of reaction because Renjun was very important to me. Is.", he corrected himself, "Renjun is very important to me. It's just- all of this was so sudden… I don't know what to do.", he added, hiding his face with his hands, looking like he was about to start crying again.

 

Jaemin put his arm around the other boy's shoulders, pushing him closer.

 

"Hey, it's okay. I forgive you. I didn't act correctly at all either. I shouldn't have spied on you guys. But it's a good thing I did though, otherwise you wouldn't have anyone to give you support right now."

 

Jeno nodded and extended his hand to Jaemin.

 

"Should we try be friends?"

 

"We sure can.", Jaemin replied, shaking his hand with a smile.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Only two weeks after Jeno started acting a little more like himself. In front of Jaemin, at least, because he wouldn't let anyone at school know he was going through a hard time. He still greeted everyone warmly and distributed smiles, even though Jaemin heard him crying in his bed often when he thought the pink haired boy was already asleep. They were now in the middle of winter break and the school was pretty much empty since most students went home to spend holidays with their families. However Jeno had told him he was staying at school since his parents had went abroad and Jaemin had choosen himself to stay at school, because to be honest the last thing he wanted was to be near his parents after what they had done to him. Donghyuck, Mark, Chenle and Jisung, his closest friends, had went to their respective homes so he had spent these two weeks with Jeno, trying his best to make him feel better.

 

Every night he brought snacks to the dorm, and ate them with Jeno while sitting on his bed and sharing gossip and stories about their families, the black haired boy surprisingly ignoring the curfew  to hear Jaemin's narratives about the aventures he had with his friends in Seoul, laughing and spilling crumbs on Jeno's perfectly white sheets. 

 

Jaemin was the best friend Jeno could ask for, he made sure he was never alone so that he wouldn't fall into depression again and  his cheerful personality always made Jeno happy and excited to start each day. Soon he found his smiles weren't forced anymore, and that he woke up every day looking forward to see the pink haired boy and spend the day together.

 

He wasn't sure if he was really happy again, or it was just Jaemin's presence that made him like that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jaemin was in bliss, like he hadn't been in a long time. Turns out he was wrong when he had thought he would hate being in this school. His friendship with Jeno was getting more and more comfortable, and he found himself sharing things with the other boy he never told anyone else. In fact, he had been spending so much time with Jeno he couldn't help but notice the smallest things about him, like the way he furrowed his eyebrows and smiled at him, or the way he covered his mouth when he laughed, or the way his eyes almost disappeared when he smiled, making him look even cuter. His heart even fluttered a bit whenever Jeno distractedly brushed his fingers on his hand while walking, or when he rested his head on his shoulder after they had one of their late night talks. Jeno was attractive, Jaemin had thought that since they met, but only now after spending more time with him he was getting to know him better and felt even more drawn to him. He loved the way Jeno was passionate about his goals and his family, and how much he knew about the most random things. Suddenly, Jaemin didn't see him just as a friend, but as something more. However, he knew Jeno was still healing from his break up, so he would have to wait to have him to himself, but, to be honest, if it was for Jeno, Jaemin didn't mind waiting at all. 

 

Another thing that was going great for Jaemin was the fact that he was finally spending some time dancing again. He had found out that there was a small studio adjacent to the gym where girls took ballet classes, and that now was empty since everyone was on holidays. Every morning he woke up before breakfast and went to the studio to practice his dancing, even though he didn't dare to turn on some music. He returned to dorm after, sweaty and breathing heavy and went straight to the showers, meeting Jeno in their room with his hair wet and already in the school uniform, looking like he had woken up just ten minutes ago.

 

Jeno, however, was starting to suspect something was up, since Jaemin was usually the one that he had to almost kick out of the bed to wake up, and suddenly he was up and already dressed every morning even before him. He was also tired of people sneaking out, he had had enough of that throughout his whole relationship with Renjun so he decided to follow Jaemin one morning and see where the boy headed, even thought deep down he felt kind of guilty, since he had scolded Jaemin for the exact same thing.

 

It was his duty though, he reminded himself, as class president to know what the students were up to and if they weren't doing anything that went against the schools rules, or maybe he just didn't want to admit the fact that Jaemin might be seeing someone made him kind of annoyed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next morning Jeno woke up to Jaemin getting dressed silently and walking out of their shared room in tiptoes.

The older boy waited until he left the room and got dressed as fast as he could before following him, finding his pink colored head rather easy to keep up with. He watched as Jaemin walked until he reached the other side of the school without making a single sound, and at one point it became clear he was heading for the gym. Jeno was now extremely intrigued, what could Jaemin possibly be doing in the gym this early?

The pink haired boy pushed the gym door and walked until he got to a smaller door on the corner of it. The lights were off and the gym was illuminated only by the faint glow of the rising sun. Jeno had never noticed that door before in all his years studying at that school, he thought it was a place for storage but as soon as Jaemin closed the door behind him he ran until he got there and leaned to the door so he could hear what went on inside.

Much for his frustration the only thing he heard were steps and even those were so light they seemed like the other boy was wearing slippers. What could Jaemin possibly be doing in a storage room that required that much walking? He breathed in, gathering all of his courage, and opened the door the slightest, only enough to take a peek inside.

He sure didn't expect what he saw inside. It wasn't a storage room after all, but a small studio where someone praticed ballet judging from the bars and mirrors surronding it. But the most incredible thing was Jaemin, which was standing in the middle of the studio, with his eyes closed. He was wearing a sleevless grey t-shirt which showcased his slim yet toned arms and sweatpants, an outfit that could come off as too casual but he made look perfect, what he heard girls refering to as a "boyfriend" look and dancing in a way Jeno hadn't seen anyone before. His movements were sharp, yet elegant, and his face expression changed according to the intensity of the dance. Jeno couldn't help but look at him with his mouth open, mesmerized by the way Jaemin's body moved so naturally and made dancing seem so easy and beautiful.

 

Jeno lost count of how much time he spent there just staring at Jaemin dancing through a slit of the door, and the other boy was so immersed in his dancing he didn't notice the black haired male was staring either. The only sounds Jeno heard were Jaemin's light footsteps and his ocasionally humming to a song and Jeno's heart, which was beating through his chest, so loud he feared Jaemin might hear it.

 

Suddenly, Jaemin stopped dancing and his lips curled into a smile before he opened his eyes, staring directly at Jeno.

 

"You know you can come in, right?"

 

Jeno felt his face getting hotter. What was he thinking? He really shouldn't creep on Jaemin like that, what would the other boy think of him now?

 

"I-I'm sorry I was just leaving…It's just you understand uh I had to follow you 'cause I'm the class president and all I had to make sure you weren't doing anything forbidden.", he mumbled, not being able to look Jaemin in the eyes.

 

Jaemin shook his head, still smiling, and Jeno's heart calmed a bit. At least he didn't look angry.

 

"And was I?", the pink haired boy inquired, stepping closer to Jeno. He was now so close Jeno could see his bangs were sweaty and he had brushed them back, giving him a bad boy look. He bit his lips slightly while waiting for Jeno's answer, a glow of amusement playing in his eyes.

 

Jeno shook his head no, looking down so that he wouldn't have to look at the piece of art that was Na Jaemin.

 

"S-Sorry. I'll go now. See you at breakfast", the black haired boy turned around to leave and he felt Jaemin's hand grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

 

"Wait.", he blurted out, letting go of Jeno's arm the moment the other boy turned around, almost like he had regretted grabbing it. "You can stay and watch me. I mean, if you want to."

 

Jeno smiled at him back his heart beating faster than ever.

 

"I would love to."


End file.
